Well DOC is at it again, at least the CO's are. Brian is in a minimum custody yard. He should, by DOC policy, as a Phase III get unlimited phone calls, and full movement around the yard. NOPE! He shares a yard with Medium custody inmates and so the CO's treat the Min, as Med. It's not right. Now they are escorting inmates and only allowing one call per day. WHAT!!!?? Not they are messing with MY TIME! I don't get to go to Tucson nearly as much as I'd like, and phones are all we have (I have resigned to writing because I just am too dang lazy and that's all there is to that!) He can call me, and I can update him on everything that I wrote about 3 days ago and didn't get to finish the letter anyway.
I called the constituent family friends whatever they are, and the lady there doesn't know. It's always the same old lame excuse....BUDGET CONSTRAINTS, AND UNDER STAFFING!!! I am SO SICK and TIRED of hearing the same thing! You think I'd give up calling. She told me to call the ADW...and so I did. It's always a pleasant experience talking to Mr. A. He seems to not realise that this issue is happening. I wonder why? Is it because he really doesn't know, and the CO's are doing things like this behind his back? How can administration really not know that these things are going on? He told me that within the week there might be some changes, I suppose time will only tell. I, at least, appreciate that he was polite and seemed to agree with me. I usually get push back, that there is nothing going to be done to change the things that seem to make no sense.
On the home front, all is well I've been hitting the gym everyday twice a day doing some sort of Yoga, Pilate's, and Tai Chi, along with a group fitness class where we use weights, and a bit of cardio. My food intake has decreased as well as my emotional state has improved. I'm feeling better from the inside out. I have always been active and pretty healthy and strong but haven't always been the thinnest. I am very determined to loose the weight I have gained from all the fast food eating and emotional eating I have done since Brian has been in prison. It's time for ME!!!
I have enrolled in FULL TIME school and part time work. I have decided that I really just HATE insurance and that was a mistake I don't plan on repeating. If I have to go back to full time work I will go back to processing mortgages, since I am happy doing that type of work. I want to get my Masters in Psychology and my ultimate goal is to be an Art Therapist. This will take some time, but I'd rather achieve my dream and be older than be older and still dreaming. I have really done some soul searching lately and I think the meditation and the yoga have helped me focus in on letting go of anger, and loving myself.
I tried to visit Brian a few weeks ago, only to drive all the way down to Tucson to be turned around at the gate. I was with a few friends of ours and I felt like an idiot because I didn't check my phone and Brian had started calling me at about the time we left to let me know that there was not going to be visitation. I also had received a Google Alert on the fight in Tucson and it was posted on PTO....all of which I didn't check!! So I haven't seen Brian for some time now, and I do miss him. It's so hot and such a long drive and it's costly, so I will have to wait to see him until Sept. Calls will have to do, let's hope they get the phone issue straight and I will get more calls than just one a day!!
Brian seems to have low spirits and it concerns me. When someone is down and depressed you can't grow, and when you stop growing you are stagnant and that's not a good place to be when you're in prison. I hope that he is still doing scripture study, going to church, and taking time to pray....these are things I have a hard time keeping up with so I wonder if it's hard for him as well. God has blessed us with so much, He continues to work miracles in my life and I attest that to FAITH and His unconditional love for me and my family.
GOD IS GOOD!!
Kids are well Ashley my youngest was recently baptized and it was a great day for her and me. My niece was in the hospital with a possible deadly infection and is recovering wonderfully, she has no traces of infection at this point and has been released from the hospital. Again, The Lord's blessing is on her!
I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow, I did 5 hours of much needed yard work. I lost my Palo Verde Tree in the Monsoon storm a few days ago and had help getting that all cut up and put in the utility trailer. So I'm off to the dump to get rid of the entire tree...all that is left is a huge stump. I have some placement tests I have to complete and finish up with some last minute school stuff and a good work out topped off with some deep cleaning of my children's rooms....CAN'T WAIT!!!
Much Love!
M.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Missing Him So Much
Right now I'm so sad, I just miss my husband so much tonight. I want him to hold me and kiss me right now. I just want to fast forward his life and put mine on pause until he is released from prison. Why does this have to be so hard emotionally for me? He is the biggest part of my life and I can't talk to him when I want to, see him when I want to, touch him when or how I want to, all I have right now are his letters strewn about and his words are comfort to me. God please let him come home soon.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
I'm amazed how things can turn around and change in a matter of minutes. My good friend, if not best friend, Anna text me that she needed a place to live and asked if I had an extra room. I DO! I have a 4 bed room so each kid has their own room and the spare is a place I keep my weight equipment. I will move it to the garage! AND to top things off I think I may have found a better paying job. I interview Monday...wish me luck!
Well, 5 days on the job and my klutz of a husband already hurt himself! It never fails, while working or playing he has manged to pass out in the heat working at a funeral ceremony and cut his chin on a gravestone, impale his thigh with a jack hammer, trip on a boat cleat and get hung up on the dock hanging by his shoe, get attacked by a motor home in motion, loose the entire head of the pic axe and practically chop his head off, chase the chain of the chainsaw down a 20 ft tree, tumble onto hot asphalt off the back of a moving golf cart going 30 mph. So yesterday he calls me and tells me "Misty, your klutz of a man already had an accident"
"Oh my gosh, what did you do this time?" I ask him
"A #10 can of apple sauce fell from 3 ft above, slamming me square on top of the head!"
I tried so hard not to laugh, and all I could do was hold my breath. But pretty soon I was busting up laughing!!
"A white shirt saw it and said that I'd better go get a CO and get medical attention, so I went to the the bathroom, looked in the mirror and blood was running down my face from the middle of my forehead. No one was able to determine if I needed stitches or not so later that day I took a shower and it wouldn't stop bleeding so I asked to see a nurse....she did nothing for me but charged me $3 for it!"
He cracks me up we laughed and laughed on our phone call last night, what a dork.
Oh, I almost forgot...he said that the can has a crescent shaped dent on the rim from his head....dude...I told everyone he has a hard head this totally proves it!
Well, 5 days on the job and my klutz of a husband already hurt himself! It never fails, while working or playing he has manged to pass out in the heat working at a funeral ceremony and cut his chin on a gravestone, impale his thigh with a jack hammer, trip on a boat cleat and get hung up on the dock hanging by his shoe, get attacked by a motor home in motion, loose the entire head of the pic axe and practically chop his head off, chase the chain of the chainsaw down a 20 ft tree, tumble onto hot asphalt off the back of a moving golf cart going 30 mph. So yesterday he calls me and tells me "Misty, your klutz of a man already had an accident"
"Oh my gosh, what did you do this time?" I ask him
"A #10 can of apple sauce fell from 3 ft above, slamming me square on top of the head!"
I tried so hard not to laugh, and all I could do was hold my breath. But pretty soon I was busting up laughing!!
"A white shirt saw it and said that I'd better go get a CO and get medical attention, so I went to the the bathroom, looked in the mirror and blood was running down my face from the middle of my forehead. No one was able to determine if I needed stitches or not so later that day I took a shower and it wouldn't stop bleeding so I asked to see a nurse....she did nothing for me but charged me $3 for it!"
He cracks me up we laughed and laughed on our phone call last night, what a dork.
Oh, I almost forgot...he said that the can has a crescent shaped dent on the rim from his head....dude...I told everyone he has a hard head this totally proves it!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
I am happy to report that my husband is finally employed. I'm not quite sure if he even knows what he's going to be doing, some sort of fork lift operator in a warehouse of some sort. For prison, the pay he is getting is the highest pay offered. It will work out to be $80 per month so he can purchase more store items.
I am just amazed at the prices of the items that the store sells these guys who make little to nothing. A CD player that would cost me $9.99 at Wally World costs him $65! Keefe has raised the price of store 3 times in the last 6 months. It's ludicrous!
Anyway, I am packing up my house as I cannot afford to stay here any longer. With my 2 lay offs this last year I am making a lot less money that I ever have, and it's stressing me out to no end. I'll be moving in with my mom for awhile until either Brian gets home or when my mother-in-law gets back from Canada. I'm sure they will either purchase a home or rent one and we can share the expenses. I'm not sure how it's going to be living back home, my mom is a control freak so I will try and be gone as much as possible. But doing this will allow me to have more money to go out and get the kids involved in more activities. I will be able to save money again and with Brian coming home now in less than a year I will want to have some more money in savings. I am sad that I am leaving, and that I just couldn't keep it up, but I am relived. The kids will like their new school and my mom is a great help. As long as we get along it should be OK.
So I will be packing and moving the next two to three weeks, with a full time job and no one to really help me it's going to be a chore. I will figure it out, I somehow always do.
Brian, on the other hand, is not taking this well. He feels like this is his fault and that he should be here taking care of his family. I know this. I think that it is his fault too. Nothing we can do about that now. This time has been a huge eye opener for him, I know that he hurts for putting us in this situation. At least it's not long before it's over and he will come home to me and take care of us. He will,l I am certain of it.
No visits for the next couple weeks and that really bites! Father's day is coming up soon and so is our 11 year anniversary on June 21st. I will most likely see him that weekend. I hate that he is in Tucson, it's a long drive and I feel like I'm imposing on people when I stay with them. Thank heavens that this is the last summer we have to endure.
I hope that Brian calls me early tomorrow morning. Calls are $0.18 before 8 am...we can talk all morning at that rate!!
I hope you all who read my blog are doing well. I welcome comments....so feel free to start a discussion on any post, I'd love to hear about you!
Take Care,
XoXo
Misty M. (aka briandi)
I am just amazed at the prices of the items that the store sells these guys who make little to nothing. A CD player that would cost me $9.99 at Wally World costs him $65! Keefe has raised the price of store 3 times in the last 6 months. It's ludicrous!
Anyway, I am packing up my house as I cannot afford to stay here any longer. With my 2 lay offs this last year I am making a lot less money that I ever have, and it's stressing me out to no end. I'll be moving in with my mom for awhile until either Brian gets home or when my mother-in-law gets back from Canada. I'm sure they will either purchase a home or rent one and we can share the expenses. I'm not sure how it's going to be living back home, my mom is a control freak so I will try and be gone as much as possible. But doing this will allow me to have more money to go out and get the kids involved in more activities. I will be able to save money again and with Brian coming home now in less than a year I will want to have some more money in savings. I am sad that I am leaving, and that I just couldn't keep it up, but I am relived. The kids will like their new school and my mom is a great help. As long as we get along it should be OK.
So I will be packing and moving the next two to three weeks, with a full time job and no one to really help me it's going to be a chore. I will figure it out, I somehow always do.
Brian, on the other hand, is not taking this well. He feels like this is his fault and that he should be here taking care of his family. I know this. I think that it is his fault too. Nothing we can do about that now. This time has been a huge eye opener for him, I know that he hurts for putting us in this situation. At least it's not long before it's over and he will come home to me and take care of us. He will,l I am certain of it.
No visits for the next couple weeks and that really bites! Father's day is coming up soon and so is our 11 year anniversary on June 21st. I will most likely see him that weekend. I hate that he is in Tucson, it's a long drive and I feel like I'm imposing on people when I stay with them. Thank heavens that this is the last summer we have to endure.
I hope that Brian calls me early tomorrow morning. Calls are $0.18 before 8 am...we can talk all morning at that rate!!
I hope you all who read my blog are doing well. I welcome comments....so feel free to start a discussion on any post, I'd love to hear about you!
Take Care,
XoXo
Misty M. (aka briandi)
Saturday, May 23, 2009
E-Mail to The Warden and Constituant for Inmate Family
DW Hartsuck and/or DW Aguilar, Warden Fizer and IF&F liaison Ms. Cassiano,
DW Hartsuck and I spoke via e-mail on this subject in February 2009 (see e-mail below), shortly thereafter many inmates have filed grievances on or around that time in regards to this subject. Why hasn't the prison responded to the 30 plus grievances that the minimum custody inmates filed for months ago regarding housing minimum and medium custody so close together, not allowing the freedom of movement that a general population minimum security inmate would be allowed? They also sent complaints to the ACLU, and I am trying to follow up as a free person, who can question this breach of policy. I have been in touch with, and I am working with the ACLU on resolving this major security and fair treatment issue.
You have been most helpful in the past, and I hope that you can respond with an explanation since I am acting on behalf of all these inmates who are in protective custody and are minimum security, they have yet to have a respone and the department has had ample amount of time to respond. These inmates are being treated like they are still in medium security and this is against the law suit John Doe vs. Lewis, Terry Stewart from back in 2001. Not so much the housing situation, but the treatment of one level to the other, protective segregated inmates are not to be "punished or put in a situation any different than the inmates who are in general population". The minimum security inmates are being denied freedom of movement, certain jobs are not available, and privileges that they have earned are being withheld by sharing a common area with a higher security level inmate population. Not only that, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen, if there is an assault on a minimum security inmate from a medium security inmate DOC will be held liable since these populations should not co-mingle, and they do.
Since the budget crisis has now been reportedly "fixed" with the possibility of the sale of Perryville, Yuma and Eyman, this still doesn't address the overcrowding or the under staffing or the lack of funds. I'm sure that the DOC will be making a lot of changes with regard to population adjustments, this should be one that needs to be looked at. There has been talk of the possibility of moving minimum inmates to SACRAC, is this a rumor or something that is a possible solution?
I am frustrated at the fact that there is a security issue and it's not being addressed. I assure you that I will continue to research the legalities of this, the policy guidelines and continue to work with the ACLU to shed light on this to whomever is responsible in insuring that protective custody inmates are being treated the same as their counterparts in general population.
I'm sure that there is a protocol and there are procedures to follow in addressing this, and I would like to know who, within the Department of Corrections has control over this issue, and what is being done about it if anything at all?
Thank you for your time and response to this e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Misty XXXXX
Wife of Inmate Brian XXXXX 121XXX
520-XXX-XXXX
E-mail from DW Hartsuck a few months ago in response to a question I had about the different custody levels sharing common areas.
On Wed, Feb 25, 2009 at 3:25 PM, KEITH HARTSUCK wrote:
Manzanita Unit does have some different custody levels which include Mediums and Minimums. The lower custody is given some additional privileges than the mediums according to policy guidelines. There are also some additional job opportunities which is established according to the inmate's custody level and EIP phase level. The Department is looking at other housing locations, however, they are working through the Budget Crisis and the Agency's overcrowding. Manzanita Unit and many other prisons throughout the state is being reviewed for population adjustments, to assist with the over crowding and the changing inmate populations. The Department is conducting reviews in order to ensure the best use of its resources.
I recommend, if you have any further questions regarding Manzanita Unit and its operations, Deputy Warden Aguilar should be able to assist you.
Thank you
Keith Hartsuck
Deputy Warden
ASPC-Tucson/Administration
DW Hartsuck and I spoke via e-mail on this subject in February 2009 (see e-mail below), shortly thereafter many inmates have filed grievances on or around that time in regards to this subject. Why hasn't the prison responded to the 30 plus grievances that the minimum custody inmates filed for months ago regarding housing minimum and medium custody so close together, not allowing the freedom of movement that a general population minimum security inmate would be allowed? They also sent complaints to the ACLU, and I am trying to follow up as a free person, who can question this breach of policy. I have been in touch with, and I am working with the ACLU on resolving this major security and fair treatment issue.
You have been most helpful in the past, and I hope that you can respond with an explanation since I am acting on behalf of all these inmates who are in protective custody and are minimum security, they have yet to have a respone and the department has had ample amount of time to respond. These inmates are being treated like they are still in medium security and this is against the law suit John Doe vs. Lewis, Terry Stewart from back in 2001. Not so much the housing situation, but the treatment of one level to the other, protective segregated inmates are not to be "punished or put in a situation any different than the inmates who are in general population". The minimum security inmates are being denied freedom of movement, certain jobs are not available, and privileges that they have earned are being withheld by sharing a common area with a higher security level inmate population. Not only that, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen, if there is an assault on a minimum security inmate from a medium security inmate DOC will be held liable since these populations should not co-mingle, and they do.
Since the budget crisis has now been reportedly "fixed" with the possibility of the sale of Perryville, Yuma and Eyman, this still doesn't address the overcrowding or the under staffing or the lack of funds. I'm sure that the DOC will be making a lot of changes with regard to population adjustments, this should be one that needs to be looked at. There has been talk of the possibility of moving minimum inmates to SACRAC, is this a rumor or something that is a possible solution?
I am frustrated at the fact that there is a security issue and it's not being addressed. I assure you that I will continue to research the legalities of this, the policy guidelines and continue to work with the ACLU to shed light on this to whomever is responsible in insuring that protective custody inmates are being treated the same as their counterparts in general population.
I'm sure that there is a protocol and there are procedures to follow in addressing this, and I would like to know who, within the Department of Corrections has control over this issue, and what is being done about it if anything at all?
Thank you for your time and response to this e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Misty XXXXX
Wife of Inmate Brian XXXXX 121XXX
520-XXX-XXXX
E-mail from DW Hartsuck a few months ago in response to a question I had about the different custody levels sharing common areas.
On Wed, Feb 25, 2009 at 3:25 PM, KEITH HARTSUCK wrote:
Manzanita Unit does have some different custody levels which include Mediums and Minimums. The lower custody is given some additional privileges than the mediums according to policy guidelines. There are also some additional job opportunities which is established according to the inmate's custody level and EIP phase level. The Department is looking at other housing locations, however, they are working through the Budget Crisis and the Agency's overcrowding. Manzanita Unit and many other prisons throughout the state is being reviewed for population adjustments, to assist with the over crowding and the changing inmate populations. The Department is conducting reviews in order to ensure the best use of its resources.
I recommend, if you have any further questions regarding Manzanita Unit and its operations, Deputy Warden Aguilar should be able to assist you.
Thank you
Keith Hartsuck
Deputy Warden
ASPC-Tucson/Administration
Friday, May 22, 2009
Random Update and Current Events
This day I took off from work to enjoy a 4 day weekend with my children and possibly go down to Tucson and see Brian. I could visit him Sat, Sun and Mon but the finances are just not there right now to support the $40 a day vending machine habit my children and my husband seem to have acquired. Let alone the $30 round trip gas fare. That would be about $150 this weekend and I just don't have it. I will go Monday $70 is more affordable. I did turn the phones back on so we are talking again. We went about a month of no phone calls, and that's hard on our relationship. I tend to wander and he tends to get irritated and mean and his cellies start to make comments like, "Bro, she's left you....she just isn't sticking around man, you can't think about the outside" I'm sure he's not nice to be around if he's not getting visits, phone calls or mail from me. I'm just so busy with work and life and May seemed to be one of those crazy busy months where something or another was scheduled every day.
A really close family friend passed away from a very aggressive pancreatic cancer. He was only 52. I loved this man dearly, he has known my dad practically all his life, and of course he's known me since before I was even thought of! Joey Mortensen is his name and I will always have a special place in my heart for him. I am going to his viewing tonight, and his funeral is tomorrow, so I couldn't have visited Saturday even if I did have the funds.
Right now in times of sadness and with the death of a loved one really makes me want to have Bri home....I need him to comfort me at the funeral especially. I don't like being alone.
On the brighter side, Brian and I celebrate this Monday our year to the gate! His release date is on Memorial Day2010 so we will still have to wait one more day for his release on Tuesday. That really irks me. Oh well, there is nothing I can do about it anyway, at least he will be home.
I'm thinking about planning a wedding for us...a renewal of our vows, we are legally divorced and I want to start fresh. I want to get married to him again. Our first wedding was a shotgun wedding and I was 4 months pregnant and wore a navy blue and white polk-a-dot dress, not your idea of a white wedding with cake and a photographer. We had no guests other than immediate family; mom, his mom, my sister and that's about it. I want the whole shebang this time. A girls dream is to have a traditional wedding and I want it, I really want it!
I am ready to stop peeking over the fence to see if the grass is greener. I've decided that even if the grass is greener, I like my lawn just the way it is. It's green in patches, and trampled on in others, there are a few weeds but nothing like a good weed killer or labor to pull them out, we all hope that weeds don't grow back but sometimes they do and you have to pull them again and again, but eventually you can accept that you have to have it maintained. I have two beautiful rose bushes that we planted 10 years ago and they keep blooming everyday. I can see that if I choose that greener path those bushes might stop producing roses and replanting them in a new yard would shock them and and it's just too much of a risk to let that happen. We have finally hired the best Gardner, He is like no other and He promises that He will keep this lawn fertilized, free of weeds, and says that He can mend the parts that are trampled on. We both trust Him that He will do His work, so long that we call on Him, and we have and that garden is looking more and more beautiful everyday. I can't wait to sit back and enjoy my garden when it's fully bloomed but without Brian there to enjoy it with me it just wouldn't be the same. I love this man, no matter what. I love him in spite of not because of. Unconditionally, I love him.
A really close family friend passed away from a very aggressive pancreatic cancer. He was only 52. I loved this man dearly, he has known my dad practically all his life, and of course he's known me since before I was even thought of! Joey Mortensen is his name and I will always have a special place in my heart for him. I am going to his viewing tonight, and his funeral is tomorrow, so I couldn't have visited Saturday even if I did have the funds.
Right now in times of sadness and with the death of a loved one really makes me want to have Bri home....I need him to comfort me at the funeral especially. I don't like being alone.
On the brighter side, Brian and I celebrate this Monday our year to the gate! His release date is on Memorial Day2010 so we will still have to wait one more day for his release on Tuesday. That really irks me. Oh well, there is nothing I can do about it anyway, at least he will be home.
I'm thinking about planning a wedding for us...a renewal of our vows, we are legally divorced and I want to start fresh. I want to get married to him again. Our first wedding was a shotgun wedding and I was 4 months pregnant and wore a navy blue and white polk-a-dot dress, not your idea of a white wedding with cake and a photographer. We had no guests other than immediate family; mom, his mom, my sister and that's about it. I want the whole shebang this time. A girls dream is to have a traditional wedding and I want it, I really want it!
I am ready to stop peeking over the fence to see if the grass is greener. I've decided that even if the grass is greener, I like my lawn just the way it is. It's green in patches, and trampled on in others, there are a few weeds but nothing like a good weed killer or labor to pull them out, we all hope that weeds don't grow back but sometimes they do and you have to pull them again and again, but eventually you can accept that you have to have it maintained. I have two beautiful rose bushes that we planted 10 years ago and they keep blooming everyday. I can see that if I choose that greener path those bushes might stop producing roses and replanting them in a new yard would shock them and and it's just too much of a risk to let that happen. We have finally hired the best Gardner, He is like no other and He promises that He will keep this lawn fertilized, free of weeds, and says that He can mend the parts that are trampled on. We both trust Him that He will do His work, so long that we call on Him, and we have and that garden is looking more and more beautiful everyday. I can't wait to sit back and enjoy my garden when it's fully bloomed but without Brian there to enjoy it with me it just wouldn't be the same. I love this man, no matter what. I love him in spite of not because of. Unconditionally, I love him.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
To My Dearest Misty
Part One
My Love I sit here and I truly am lost in grief. I have been doing my studies and an overwhelming feeling of sorrow came over me...I miss you so much. I need you my love, and worst of all for me, I know you need me. I really pray you are doing fine, and I have been praying that your finances are doing alright.
Sweetheart you are the love I have always wanted and our love when put to scrutiny, the ultimate love of all is what we have. I really hunger for your touch. I don't know if you can tell lately but I have been dreaming of you a lot! Part of it probably is because I got moved down to a lower bunk, got all situated and put all of your photos up where I can see them all the time. Mostly I just hunger for you! I guess honey you are my new addiction.
Misty I am honestly struggling with the validity of the truth in the churches, but I am studying on and looking for the truth, because it's very important to me. I would like to share a quote with you that really drives me. "The most important of The Lord's work you will ever do will be with in the walls of your home" Harold B. Lee. I read this quote last year and it really made me open my eyes about everything, spiritually and worldly. I must make the right choices, for I truly guide our family, and all of your lives depend on me. I want this for you, for us. I want you to know, I am truly sorry it took me so long to grow up.
Well today, as everyday, this place SUCKS! But I take it as it comes, slow some days and fast others. I am hoping your days are going faster than mine. Well, one more week and we can say less than a year, oh I just wish I could come home NOW!
Misty I sit here and just wish I was with you, every memory that haunts my mind is of you and loving one another. You are the one. I love it when you give me that look, and my heart leaps and flutters at the though of your touch I really cannot wait to come home and be with you forever.
It's stupid all the crap that we could have avoided if I would have made better choices, yes I see it! I can change it, I am man enough to see it, and I'm man enough to change it!
I am listening to "My Heaven" bu Trace Adkins, listen to "Baby I'm Home" off the Songs About me album, this one makes me think about you. About how I never knew love or how to love until you Misty, you showed me I am capable of loving and being a good man. Thank you for sticking it out, thank you my love.
My girl, I want you and our family so badly I can't stand being here another minute. I need you. That used to be so hard to say, why I don't know, but it rolls off my lips now and it feels good to say. I love you.
Well, I went to lunch today, I don't know why....it makes me SICK! I tried to phone you on the chance that maybe...yeah....I guess I will see you tomorrow....I HOPE!
You will probably read this letter next week, I really miss our children, how are they? I want to just come home and watch them grow. I promise you on everything.....to be continued.
My Love I sit here and I truly am lost in grief. I have been doing my studies and an overwhelming feeling of sorrow came over me...I miss you so much. I need you my love, and worst of all for me, I know you need me. I really pray you are doing fine, and I have been praying that your finances are doing alright.
Sweetheart you are the love I have always wanted and our love when put to scrutiny, the ultimate love of all is what we have. I really hunger for your touch. I don't know if you can tell lately but I have been dreaming of you a lot! Part of it probably is because I got moved down to a lower bunk, got all situated and put all of your photos up where I can see them all the time. Mostly I just hunger for you! I guess honey you are my new addiction.
Misty I am honestly struggling with the validity of the truth in the churches, but I am studying on and looking for the truth, because it's very important to me. I would like to share a quote with you that really drives me. "The most important of The Lord's work you will ever do will be with in the walls of your home" Harold B. Lee. I read this quote last year and it really made me open my eyes about everything, spiritually and worldly. I must make the right choices, for I truly guide our family, and all of your lives depend on me. I want this for you, for us. I want you to know, I am truly sorry it took me so long to grow up.
Well today, as everyday, this place SUCKS! But I take it as it comes, slow some days and fast others. I am hoping your days are going faster than mine. Well, one more week and we can say less than a year, oh I just wish I could come home NOW!
Misty I sit here and just wish I was with you, every memory that haunts my mind is of you and loving one another. You are the one. I love it when you give me that look, and my heart leaps and flutters at the though of your touch I really cannot wait to come home and be with you forever.
It's stupid all the crap that we could have avoided if I would have made better choices, yes I see it! I can change it, I am man enough to see it, and I'm man enough to change it!
I am listening to "My Heaven" bu Trace Adkins, listen to "Baby I'm Home" off the Songs About me album, this one makes me think about you. About how I never knew love or how to love until you Misty, you showed me I am capable of loving and being a good man. Thank you for sticking it out, thank you my love.
My girl, I want you and our family so badly I can't stand being here another minute. I need you. That used to be so hard to say, why I don't know, but it rolls off my lips now and it feels good to say. I love you.
Well, I went to lunch today, I don't know why....it makes me SICK! I tried to phone you on the chance that maybe...yeah....I guess I will see you tomorrow....I HOPE!
You will probably read this letter next week, I really miss our children, how are they? I want to just come home and watch them grow. I promise you on everything.....to be continued.
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